GMO - or, you really shouldn't fuck with food

For almost a month I've been having to sneak-eat food since my lawyer-boss cracked down on my precious in-office snacks (a la "Please eat food in the kitchen from now on, I do not like it when you eat at your desk. You eat a lot of junk food. For someone who used to be so health-conscious you're really hitting the tortilla hard these days...and what's up with all the burritos?" with an obvious subtext of "you're getting fat and I think restricting the places you're allowed to eat will curb your appetite. Plus Mexican food disgusts me and that's all you seem to eat.")

Getting breakfast is a definite problem with this new policy, as I am often strapped for time and always give up breakfast in favour of sleep, in favour of showers and all that.

I do take my breakfast commitment seriously, though, so it's been difficult in the mornings, as it's become a commitment to sneak. Sneakily eat.

Yesterday morning I forgot I was sneakily eating an apple I'd snatched from home. I'd forgotten I had a good stock of organic galas already in my produce bin in the office fridge. The snatched apple was a jonagold purchased from FoodFag on Maryland.

I was very busy yesterday and so it took about three hours to get through about 3/4 of my jonagold. Every half hour or so I'd remember to open my desk drawer and take a giant bite. After the fourth bite, I noticed there was absolutely no browning occurring, but thought little of it at the time.

This morning, I got into the office and selected a nice organic gala, prance/skulked up to my office to stash it, and lo and behold, my 3/4-eaten jonagold, still shining brightly, just showing a hint of black mold around the edges of the bites.

Fucking genetically-modified brilliance, I tell you. I feel like sticking my hand down my throat in a desperate attempt to purge the black mold I can't help but envision developing in my guts. Fuck me!!