in pain

I need to start eating dedicated breakfasts again. I've sort of had very little will to take care of myself, mostly because my right leg fucking hurts. It's so hard to take care of oneself when there is pain to deal with. When it hurts to take care of oneself.

I need to start eating dedicated breakfasts again, not only because it's "good for me", but because I've been overeating in a very self-punishing way and of course, when I was eating regular breakfasts, I didn't seem to do that kind of self-abuse. Overeating was just overeating, not some fucked-up morbid ritual of autobrutality.

I am stressed/anxious/etc., I do have to admit. New job, a deadline to meet, having a disability for the time being, things happening around me that definitely allow for paranoia. Not getting enough sleep. Being injured prevents me from working out in my usual manner, which is also a problem.

One thing I can do is eat breakfast, concentrate on controlling my diet and appetite. A relatively easy thing to do, and doesn't require an enormous amount of time in the sense that my breakfasts can be prepared ahead of time and "whipped up" within 15 minutes or less, normally. Grocery-shopping is an issue, but for the most part simply requires that I ask one of my more car-endowed chums for a favour in a time of real need.

Life is good; I'm just really overwhelmed by change at the moment. I'm also painfully reminded that sleep and nutrition are extremely necessary during such times of serious adjustment. I'm so tired that I couldn't care less what happens right now, so full of food that I can't sleep. ugh. Every time I stuff myself like this there's an extreme urge to fast the next day which leads me right into an extreme urge to stuff again. ugh. Must get a grip.